...well your faith was strong but you needed proof...
Revealing words he said, me that is.
I guess because I came from a place of disbelief,
the tendency to prove...fits
Is my relationship only about proof?
...good versus best...
The words still echoed from him, TJ that is.
It was the morning after.
The night before... well... it was the beginning of the end,
so I thought.
A decision had to be made.
A decision about where to spend my time.
huh, "my time"... we'll get back to that one.
A decision was looming and...well, things seemed to be,
that the book had to go.
Things seemed to be telling me my taking Fridays off from work
to write is not working - can't work.
Now there's really too much to do.
You have things I want you to do.
You have OTHER things you are obliged to do.
Maybe it's not time.
maybe,
it's,
NOT,
time.
Heavy words sinking my heart.
Deep echoes as I realized I overslept.
As far as time went now, late, I had none.
So in haste I grab the devotional.
A quick read masquerading as quiet time with God this morning.
Flipping...
page,
page,
page,
today's page.
...it's not a question of giving up sin, but of giving up my right to myself...
Startling words as he expounded, the writer that is.
Actually quite unsettling words.
Then I read the next words.
These words stopped me.
...very few of us debate with the sordid and evil and wrong,
but we do debate with the good.
It is the good that hates the best...
no way.
...it is the good that hates the best.
The words echoed.
...good versus best...
I guess echoed might not be that accurate.
RIPPED
PIERCED
SHOVED
MOCKED
CONQUERED
and ultimately
suffocated.
You see I hadn't picked up that devotional in over three months and this, this was the message for this morning. This message of Good versus Best staring me down once again.
I read on.
...beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own independence.
As I sat there I couldn't even ask the "why's" anymore.
The "why's" about re-awakening my creative desires.
It was becoming quite clear.
It wasn't time to create.
It looked like it was time to set that aside and join this group.
My art was...dying.
...it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah...
Haunting words as she described them, my sister that is.
But they were perfect.
...a new life awaits you in the off-world colonies...
haunting, yet inviting words, as she used them, my friend Kari that is.
Little did I know they would invite other inviting words by Him, that I would say,
me that is.
... if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes...
[to be continued]
1 comment:
this gave me chills. it's so beautiful how He is pursuing you in such a tangible way. and how willing you are, ultimately, to be obedient and trust that it will result in greater things that yet to be done here.
i'm glad for friends like you. you strengthen me. thank you for your heart.
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